Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
