youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Acid is not a monday night drug
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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