So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
