If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
