So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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