Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
