Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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