y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize