I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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