Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
