Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize