Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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