umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I showed him my bush... on skype.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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