You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
