Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
