no more duck duck goose at the bar
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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