Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
