Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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