omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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