What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
