I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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