You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
