Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
