I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize