apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
