so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
