I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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