My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
