the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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