Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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