Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize