I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize