Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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