the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
