The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
should my penis look like a turkey
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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