well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
