Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
