Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize