I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
