Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize