I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
