drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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