Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We just shotgunned beers for America
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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