Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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