I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
