Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
