i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
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whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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