Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
