East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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