i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize