She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
