who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
