Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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