Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
