That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
