I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
