I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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