normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
