My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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