she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
