I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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