and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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