yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize