stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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