For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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