Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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