I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
